I hate myself for letting the things that caused my relapse get to me. But I had 2 supports, my gf and dog. So when I suspected her of cheating... and then my dog passed away. Took a week, but I folded and relapsed. And relapsed hard. I've found a happy balance to me, a decidedly ok moderation but ultimately want to be clean again. It's hard, I keep making attempts but only couple days before something gets me going back. I shoudve never used to begin with. And moreso shouldn't have let myself relapse and throw out the 4 and a half years I worked hard to be at.
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Years ago when I left for bootcamp my gf and best friend at the time decided to have an affair! I understand what your going through and I’m sorry! All you can do is get back up and dust yourself off, it’ll be very difficult for you to trust again, well, it was/is for me! Don’t do what i did and drink it down- bring it up into the light and tackle it! Talking to a therapist was a great route for me! I wish you the best! Nobody is worth wrecking your life over, especially cheating scum!