I guess I never told you guys what I’m withdrawing from. My addiction is alcohol. I have so many people that support me but I still feel so lost. I think I feel this way because the people supporting me in my life don’t know how hard it is. Alcohol is everywhere, it’s legal, it’s probably in my opinion the hardest thing for me. The ones that I have supporting me just think “why can’t you stop” I’ve stopped so many times but Triggers get me. I’d rather feel nothing then anything sometimes. I’m okay though everyone. Just voicing how I feel.
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That’s how I feel anymore. Every time there is any social gathering it always involves drinking. I’m Asian as you can see. Drinking is in our culture. But just like you said when you have an issue its the hardest to get through.
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This ALL of this! I know how you feel! I’m struggling with the same thing and it is hard. I was doing good till my best friend died and it triggered me.
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"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable"
Unmanageable means so many things but it is our thinking that gets us. The real truth is always one of choice. We can choose to not pick up no matter what. IMO, that's the being sober part. The other 11 eleven steps helps us to understand why we make the choices we do.
The great thing is always the fact that we don't have to recover alone! Glad you posted this. 
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Can you suggest a group for me?
As far as AA Zoom meetings go, I join AA After Hours. It starts at 10 eastern and goes almost all night. You can look up meetings at the aa-intergroup.org site. Hope to see you at the After Hours one. It's a good meeting as far as online meetings go.
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I sent them a message. Thank you Scott for your recommendation.
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Good morning 
The 12 steps changed my life. They helped me stop drinking, first and foremost. They introduced me to the power greater than myself.
But then, they replaced my desire to be numb with an ability to see, understand and enjoy life on life’s terms. Good days and bad, I own my part in all of this. I apologize and forgive myself. I recognize what I can and can’t control. I live an honest life. And I’m happy.
I was a drunk. All day every day. And now I go to those drinking occasions when I need to, and I don’t drink. And surprisingly, nobody really cares. And if they do try to push drinking on me, it speaks to them and their situation more than it does me.
You can do this. If you want what we’ve got and are willing to go to any length to get it, those are the 12 steps that got so many of us there.
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Totally understand. I come from an Irish Italian heritage. My God the struggles but one day at a time. I have had multiple back slides but keep trying. Hugs
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