I don’t know why I drink so much. It’s caused no problems: I just play games online, watching tv, or reading. Yet, alcohol is a part of that routine easily 6 days a week and after bottles of wine, and pints of whiskey are gone. What am I emotionally after??
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Hey Andrei, it sounds like you're searching for wholeness. Keep searching and you'll find it, bro.
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Big book says u have an allergy
What book are you referring to?
I think we are searching for the answer of how to love ourselves properly and searching for the answer as to why others cannot seem to love us properly as well. We must love ourselves to love others healthily and then they will follow. And if they fall short in that love we must teach them how to love themselves as well so we may be loved.
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He's talking about “The Big Book” by Bill Wilson which is one of the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Alcoholics Anonymous
It’s become habit. A strong, overbearing habit. It’s not easy to undo habit and in fact we can’t. All we can do is replace them with a better habit …
Do you think you have a problem? Does it affect other areas of your life negatively?
I learned with alcohol that I was trying to fill an emptiness that was inside me; I didn't realize this until after I stopped drinking.
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I could have written this 
I think part of the reason I do the exact same is to numb my emotions. numb my anxiety, allow me to escape my depression temporarily. It creates a nasty spiral that's hard to get out of. This is my thousandth time saying I'll be sober, but I hope we will both stay strong and find a way out 