I am thinking that, new in recovery, I should start

Recovery
#1

I am thinking that, new in recovery, I should start having something I rarely saw in my life of debauchery: goals. I have operated with only things possible in a few seconds or minutes of effort or even attention. I was the king of "just make it" instead of "just do it" I eventually couldn't keep up any semblance of normalcy. I was incredibly selfish in denying even my time to others. I got good at selfishness. Tonight I thought while dining with a female neighbor, " We all have had a rough time, but I care more, or maybe just I am thinking more tonight about her struggles than my struggles, how can I help"? And it was such a novel idea. I knew this was the kind of Big Book spiritual stuff I have read about but was too selfish to understand. I'm in my first week, and a lot of unusual, good, and unpredictable things are happening. This app is really helping me and I appreciate all the people out there.

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#2

I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. I am just starting this journey and it’s helpful to read other people’s self reflections. One note is that, there was a part of you that wasn’t able to give attention, but that part is not the whole you. Coming from self love might help then understanding of what function that part played—was it protecting you? Hope your day today is a happy one.

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#3

Good luck. I also just winged it without goals or a plan. I am 53 days sober and am floundering less but still having to work at it. Support here and elsewhere has helped a lot

#4

Glad to hear you are already getting into a better frame of mind. However, I would also mention that given you are still in your first few days, the big “goal” right now is to take it one day at a time without a drink, and as you build those days there will be opportunities and times to work on mending behaviors from the past. But for now, focus on yourself getting through each day sober. The rest will come with time and more sobriety.

#5

Thanks! That's very helpful. I think I have been afraid of anyone knowing about me in depth. A lot of shame. I will work on self love today. I am trying to understand protecting myself. Ironically, I disclosed some of the most shameful parts, but never could see any good in me. Have a great day!

#6

Thanks! I'm going to reach out more today, even make calls. I like this group, there's security here. Have a great day

#7

Thanks! I want to get better ASAP, but I have to make small goals, like 24hours sober. Have a great day

#8

Excellent! Just work on getting your next 24 hours right now.