I am the daughter of an alcoholic who died drunk on the cold and snowy streets on January 6, 2002 in boston mass My father had a fairly good middle-class economic life for a period of time, but suddenly the consequences of alcoholism began to be notorious and the family began to separate, my mother immigrated to the United States, my brother left with my grandparents I stayed with my dad to take care of the small business that we still had
We had a dairy business, we sold the milk from the cows that we had and from the economic life that we had, we only had debts and shame.
My father was in total ruin. His family and best friends had left him alone, they all left, even the workers
the only thing he had left was the support of one of his sisters and my grandmother
later my father and I became like soul mates, my father and I spent a lot of bad and dood time together, they were days and nights of crying, pain, loneliness, fear and resentment.
When my father found out that I had been sexually abused by a cousin
that was so devastating for me because my father did not defend me , he mistreated me because he felt betrayed by his right hand that he said was me
He felt ashamed and repudiated for having a daughter like me
It was at that time that I began to discover what resentment was
at the age of 12, I was already thinking of committing suicide and planning how to kill my aggressor
It all started at 9 years old and I was barely freed from resentment at 37 years old. I am so grateful alcoholic who knows what freedom is just because I have the love 
of my creator my everything God
He loves me so much Thank you 
for reading 
my memories with my dad
Hi Elsy. My dad died drunk, too. It's a pain I don't want anyone else to experience.
I'm sorry in the darkest, or one of, your dad didn't defend you. My heart aches for you.
Through your trials and tribulations you remained strong. You fought difficult battles. You are a testimony.
I know this may have been hard to share. But this gives others hope. It helped me to know I am not alone in my feelings (dad dying drunk).
Thanks for sharing.
Thank you Amanda S.
I am sober and working with other alcoholics Everything is possible if we let our creator to be the director of everything
You're welcome.
Allowing my Creator to direct my steps is the best thing for me. He has set me free from shame and condemnation. Through the good and bad it's best to rely on Him.
I agree entirely with what Amanda said. I want to add, even though those who should have been there to protect were not, it isnt your fault. The things others do is never your fault. I don't see you blaming yourself in your post, but it can't be said enough. The victim is never to blame. You are worth knowing that the crimes of others is not yours to atone for. Keep moving forward and hold your head high.
This is truly the language of the heart, raw and unfiltered. I'm glad you found a relationship with your higher power and a way to recover from that hopeless state of mind and body. Keep going, it can only continue to get better.
Proud of you
So tough to hear. I feel for you as both my parents died alcoholics. You can break the cycle.
I'm sorry. 
Wow that’s powerful
I remember dairy prices tumbling.
Dont shame your father, he did the best he could. Noones perfect. Nothins 4 certain, all you can do is the best u can.
I thank you for your testimony and your honesty! Your story though very sad at moments, is very inspiring. Your strength, endurance, and forgiveness are without measure. Being a father myself your story motivates me to strive for the strength and knowledge to be a better example for my children! Again, thank you!