hey, i’m a year sober but i want to drink really bad. i don’t think i’d say i was quite an alcoholic, but it was a problematic relationship. but i keep doubting that it really was a problem. i’ve seen blood when i was sick, fallen down stairs, hit my head more than once, torn apart furniture, drank well into the double digits, told i drink too much, and more. part of me says that’s just normal 20 something year old stuff but another part says it was a problem. idk what to do, part of me wants to drink a bit to prove i can, another part wants to deep dive into a bottle, and another part says keep sober. any advice on what to do would be really appreciated:)
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For me man, when I get urges to smoke or drink I go off and craft something. Or learn something new that I was curious about. And hopefully I can get so focus in on what I am doing that needs all of my attention I don’t have the time to keep thinking of the urge. In ways I guess it just masking the problem with a more positive addiction that is healthy and rewarding. Everyone is different but one thing is for sure, we are all nerds for something. Hope you stay up. Sending positive. Ins your way
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I often find myself doing pro and con list using post its. Usually when it comes to using I see way more cons. I also end this reminding myself why I quit. Crafting also helps me. As does reading something I’m interested in. Gets me out of my head and into someone else’s story (kinda).
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Good morning.
You’ve had some scary experiences. I definitely suggest you question your relationship with alcohol if you feel it’s normal though you have seen blood.
Get to a doctor to talk about your physical health. Contact an addiction therapist to see how they can help with your alcohol love/hate relationship.
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For what you said alcohol has more negative affects than positive staying sober would be the right choice. Surely an alcoholic will never be a social drinker it’s proven, try to find the source of your urge to drink and always remember the bad days when you were drinking not the fun ones . Stay strong
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Don’t pick up go to a meeting or talk to someone just don’t drink you will be right back we’re you started with just one drink it’s not worth it
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With all of those consequences, it surely sounds like you’re an alcoholic. But if you’re not, you’ll do until a real one gets here
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"The thought that we can drink like normal drinkers,HAS to be smashed.Are you working with a sponser and the 12 steps?
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There is nothing good will come of you picking up again find someone to talk to and be honest with yourself
Callus, just focus on one day. Literally one day at a time. Get to a meeting. Zoom ones are good too. If you start thinking of having a drink, think it ALL the way through. Not just that first sip, but how you will feel the next day. The self loathing, the self hate and blah blah blah. It will spiral downwards and those bad situations will get worse. Meetings and people help you to create a “GOOD” life, not just an existence.
You’re worth it! Be brave! You’ve got this.
Go to a meeting and make yourself known. There are people that will surround you and walk with you though every temptation. You can't do it alone. It seems like all your other options lead to negative drama and pain. The worse thing that could happen if you go is that you would stay sober another 24 hours.
I totally relate to this . I’m at 14 months and get those thoughts too . I don’t think they ever go away because our brains like to play the booze “highlight reel “ instead of the reel featuring all the pain and suffering . Could I drink for a time and keep it under control ? Yes . However , eventually it will begin to degrade my life and all the anxiety associated with the drunk to hungover to drunk cycle will emerge again . For me it’s not worth it to take one drink . The stress of staying sober is less than the stress it takes to manage drinking “normally “ . The choice is yours if you want to give drinking another shot , but if you are like me , 1-2 drinks is a worthless tease .
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I had to answer the 1st step. Was my life unmanageable? Also was I powerless over my addiction? If you can honestly answer no to both than you aren't one of us. But if you can identify it comes down to making a choice to live by spiritual principles and grow up. Thank God for the old timers who told me the truth and saved my life.
'Worthless tease' is exactly right for me too. Thanks for those words! I'm gonna remember that one!
I questioned for WAY too long if I really had a problem as you're saying. I am not encouraging this at all, but I had to go out and fo more 'research' to determine if I truly had an issue. Time and time again I failed the experiment. Each time the mental, physical, and spiritual consequences got worse. No one can decide for you, but I can say if you're questioning if you really are alcoholic, chances are you may be. Someone once told me 'normal drinkers don't question their drinking'. I hope you don't do more 'research' than necessary 