Hey everyone! Newbie here

Sober Curious
#1

Ive been a lurker on a lot of sober curious and sober community groups for some time now. Ive been wanting to change my relationship with alcohol for over a year now and have been debating adapting a sober lifestyle. However, the thought of giving up alcohol is pretty intimadating, and a majority of my friends go to the bars pretty regularly. I already struggle with the feeling of loneliness and think giving up that social aspect of drinking would only make things worse.

How did you get over these initial hurdles? Im willing to make sober friends but i dont even know where to start.

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#3

I had almost a year and relapsed so this time I'm also trying to take a different approach, I am back in treatment and have found one sober support girl but my friends outside of work are at a minimum right now. I haven't tried venturing to that extent with people yet and don't know how to go about it either really, I wish you luck though, apparently having people there is important.

#4

I do not know if you have tried AA or not but there is a fellowship of people who have gone through what you are going through. I've been there myself but once sober I found myself doing all kinds of things. And the great part is if I travel somewhere I can always find a meeting and feel comfortable. Sobriety is is so much more than not drinking. Get involved and good luck!

#5

Ok, so, the alcoholic brain will try to negotiate for anything that will keep the booze in play.

You’ll need to find different people (sober friends/support) places (meetings in lieu of bars) and things (anything but intoxicants).

The feeling of loneliness, in my case, was mixed up in guilt and shame and came from drinking. It didn’t come from people. I could get drunk all by myself in a stadium full of people. I was lonely when I was with friends and family. It was just me and the bottle. As the insanity caused by alcohol subsided I began mending relationships with the people who really mattered in my life. My friends who do drink all support me. Not 1 person has ever pressured me to drink. Not 1 person has questioned me when I chose to stay in with a book instead of out with a beer.

So, don’t fear sobriety. You’ll come to enjoy and even cherish it in time, if you’re anything like I am.

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#6

First Off I am very new to this also!
My family members are all “social” drinkers, same with friends, and pretty much everyone I associate with.
We go to concerts, parties, bowling league, game nights etc.... In my experience I have honestly loved drinking drinking and partying with people!
I never considered myself an “alcoholic”. I’d been with my husband since I was 16, im an RN, i have three wonderful kids, Im at all their softball, hockey, bowling, plays, blah blah blah. Alcohol was always so much FUN!!!!!! Until it wasnt!
As Ive gotten older i realize I use alcohol to celebrate every happy occasion, stressful situation, and sad time in my life. So well thats most of my life. LOL!
I havent hit a rock bottom or lost relationships with people! I just think alcohol is finally weighing me down and stopping me from being my best self. I think over time its become my best friend who slowly made me loose my confidence and depend on it.
Now alcohol is no longer fun for me, so before someone tells me I have to stop I wanna do it on my own terms. I just wanna feel myself again! Feel alive and not weighed down my old best friend booze.
I read a great book that helped me switch my thoughts on alcohol.
Im not a reader (like EVER),
However I just started reading a lot of sober curios books and its helped a lot.
My favorite so far is the Naked Mind.

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#7

Its so hard to type on my phone in the little square and fix errors so I left them all. Lol.
Hope this makes some sense. Good luck!

#8

Of course everyone's situation is different and some people might benefit from avoiding certain places/people altogether. For me personally, I can be around alcohol and choose not to drink, and I love live music too much to avoid bars completely. But I would suggest restaurant bars so you can eat and not have all the focus be on what you're drinking. Or bars that offer non-alcoholic beer (0.0 Heineken tastes weirdly similar to the real thing). Again I emphasize - for some people this could easily lead to drinking the real thing. You have to know yourself and be realistic about your ability to resist temptation. Outside of that, you have to surround yourself with supportive people. My friends and family I've been around since giving up alcohol have always respected my decision not to drink and never tried to pressure me. If your friends don't respect you, find new friends. Some people have decided they can only hang out with other sober people and that's totally fine too. That's not a standard I require but I definitely require respect for my own sobriety. Don't hesitate to reach out if you feel inclined. Best of luck on your journey.