Yeah I know what you mean. I need 2-3 days to feel normal and to sleep better when I’m coming off a binge.
You say you tried AA. Did you actually avail yourself of a sponsor and take all 12 steps or did you simply show up for a few meetings from time to time?
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.
The reason I say all this Jason is because there was a time when I told people that I tried AA and it didn't work. Down the road when I started to sit down all the way and keep my mouth closed and actually start doing what was suggested, my life really did start to change. But like I said for years I was in and out of the rooms and not really doing what was suggested to me but what I thought was right.
My Hope for you is that you will start going back to AA meetings, get a sponsor and try taking the 12 steps. Your life can and will change.
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I've done 90 in 90. I've had sponsors. Started the steps. I know all the lingo and catch phrases. Probably been close to 1000 meetings over the years.
Started the steps but did you finish them? Most people say that they are doing the steps until they get into step 4 and that's usually when most people stopped because they don't want to put forth the work and then they end up going back out. I'm not saying that that's what happened with you but that's usually what happens with most people myself included. So if you've been through it all why do you think that you are having a problem stopping and staying stopped?
The other thing is that if you are picking up the first drink then you really need to go back and start with step one. If you're picking up a drink then you're believing the LIE; that this time everything will be okay. I figure that it's not okay because if it was you wouldn't be here right now.