Hello my name is cassady and I am new to the group . I am currently in active addiction and wanting/needing to get sober . I don’t understand why is this so hard. I go to counseling but I feel like I can’t be straight up with them. Even when I was they didn’t listen and it made things worse well I made things worst. I’m scared of being sick. I’ve been clean forever 8 months before and then I slipped up and fell really hard and I have never really fell hard before . I came to this site to feel like I’m not the only one and requesting for support . I know I have to take the steps but it feels good to be able to talk about it and not have people judge you. I am very antisocial now and I can’t seem to do the things I love. I forgot how to live life since I’ve been going through this active addiction mode. I want to be back to myself . I’m failing everybody including myself . When I requested help from my family it seems like that made things worst because in one day they forgot who I was . I wish I never told them because they didn’t support me at all they actually had put me down more . I wasn’t asking for them to say it’s okay to mess up or be how it is but I was wanting to support and I didn’t want them to look at me like a junkie. I accept people for who they are why couldn’t my family do the same and just talk to me about it and not treat me any different . I feel like I have addict written on my forehead and now I really avoid people like it is. I just don’t want to feel alone or doubted now . Everyday I say I wanna stop and I’m going to stop and I try but then I get sick and I feel bad when I’m sick in front of my kids . I have to function to take care of them but I know this isn’t the way. I wish I can just lock myself away for a week to get better and not feel bad that I can’t do my motherly duties. I need to be by myself for this and do this for myself and my kids. Feeling defeated 
Welcome to the app, this is a safe place! Thank you for sharing your situation with us. You can't take care of your babies if you can't take care of yourself. Recovery is a selfish program and rightly so. You really have to get honest with your counselor, sponsor, group whatever it is in order to make your recovery work. Sorry your family didn't provide you with the support you were expecting but you can find plenty of folks on here that will support ya and help best we can. Best of luck to you in your journey of recovery!
Thank you so much ! I hope your journey continue to be great and full of bliss. You are right recovery is selfish and I do need this for me because right now it’s me vs me. And I need the real me to come back fighting stronger then ever and harder
Get it!! 
Congrats Cass and welcome to our Sobriety family! Here we can discuss what’s on our minds. This is a safe site but please be aware of fakes. You can tell who is working their sobriety and who isn’t.
Thank you for sharing your story. Families that don’t have any knowledge of addiction can make it difficult for us to cope with what lies ahead in recovery. That’s why we go to meetings with other addicts.
First step is admitting we have a problem. Check!
Next is detoxing. I don’t know your drug of choice but if you can go to a treatment facility I’d advise that. With inpatient or intense outpatient treatment. I was very fortunate and did both treatments. During treatment I found AA, NA, life ring and recovery dharma. Attending meetings daily in early sobriety helped me a lot. Then I was able to get a sponsor. Someone in the meetings that you can relate to. I have a sponsor in both AA and NA. That helps me cause they each bring their experiences to me that fit my needs for my program.
I hope this helps you get started.
AA.org or NA.org for more info
Have a wonderful day filled love and peace within.
You are in the right place and it sounds like you’re trying to make all the right choices. CA.org is also a good resource.
Give your family time to see your actions matching your words and hopefully they will come around. Remember they are scared and probably don’t know what to do.
I recommend checking with your state’s social services to see if they have any programs for single mothers with kids. Your kids need healing too.
I wish you all the success in the world and keep focus on your recovery so you can then focus on your kids!
Hi Cass. Thank you for sharing with us. As Kevin said, this is a safe place. Most of us can definitely relate to exactly how you feel and what you're going through.
I know that your big concern is if you're able to commit to your motherly duties while getting treatment. The answer is you can. 
There are IOPs. Check them out on Sober Help. You can participate in recovery meetings virtually, too.
Hi Cass! Thank you for sharing your story.I understand about your family. I had the same issue when I first got into recovery. I went to a rehab center but before I went I told them all that I’m an alcoholic. None of them believe me not even my brother to drink with me every day. But you know what I did what I had to do for myself. I can’t do this all alone. I found out the hard way. Bit today I live life on life‘s terms and that’s the only way that I live. One day at a time. I have a few years of sobriety but I know it any given day it can be taken away from me. Can I keep that real close to the top of my head so I don’t forget it. And today I can say I love who I am even though my family don’t. But my real family now are the people that are like me. And I love this family because I know I can get help whenever I need it. And I also love giving help when I can. But it’s like everybody says so far there is all kinds of help out there for us we just need to do the footwork. Before anything actually happens. So I know that you will be OK because of the way you were talking in your story. Strong people make it. And I can hear that you are a strong person. And on that note we’re all here for you as we’re all here for each other. So put 1 foot in front of the other and just keep doing what you’re doing you’ll make it. And may your day get greater by the grace of God.And blessed by God forever.