Got about 30 hours clean. Been struggling with my addiction for 26 years. Recently had 82 days clean. Just the past 3 yrs or so I started trying to put together some clean time. Sometime it'd only be 4 or 5 days. But I got 7 or 8 months In there once. 
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I think that the fear of not making it more than a few days has stopped me from getting clean more times than my actual urge to get high...I struggle with the fear of guilt and shame that comes along with relapsing...so if I never stop using....I won't worry about relapse. Backwards logic, obviously, but thats where my head goes. If you got through yesterday, you're awesome for that. Good luck today 
You can do this.
Good viewing on You Tube for recovery support.
They say the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. I disagree. It begins before that. It begins before you even decide to get up and start. It begins when the curiosity of what is down the road outweighs the fear of not making it. You are at a crucial stage in your journey. The things down the road for you are far beyond what you can imagine. You may slip a few times but keep walking. Soon you will find your stride.
Hey Amanda, you’ve done it before and you can do it again. Recovery and sobriety (and healing in general) is rarely a straight line. Everyone has their own journey. Right now, you’re sober and that’s something to be proud of. Keep doing the things you did to get you there. Let us know how you’re doing