~God doesnt~make mistakes~
I use because im too smart to fall and too broken to want to try......after being a single mom with no stable or consistent family support or even presence for 12yrs. I lost my son Sept 2018. Ironically I didn't lose him for drugs, abuse, neglect or anything to do with my son. I lost him because a police officer in a town called castaic i happen to be passing thru on my way back to Arizona(you see I had realized I put a man before my son and I was already trying to make necessary steps towards repairing that damage) the relationship had turned physically abusive and sadly im not stranger to the physical abuse however the mental took a toll on me. The night I left was the 1st time I was hit tho that i didn't provoke or deserve it. I couldn't understand why he wouldn't love me the way I knew I deserved to be. Why after knowing how much physical, mental, emotional and sexual abuse id suffered in my 29 yrs of life already he willingly chose to inflict more. As I laid there scared hurt Nd confused thinking of my son my life out of state and although lonely i was content. I decided to leave my stuff was already packed so in a panic i quickly leave before he wakes. I admit i took everything his keys, wallet, phone, title to both cars, money and the lexus. Aside from the lexus which I paid for i took the rest of the stuff so he wouldn't chase me. Well 1/2 to az i stopped and my son and I got a room. I been driving all night exhausted and had been dealing with my boyfriend calling me. Anyway in castaic I send him everything back. I meant what i said I just wanted him to let me go. My plan was to eat dinner get some rest take my son to magic mountain the next morning since we had season passes. And then continue our drive. Well that night was a ball. My son and I went swimming and despite my busted eardrum i was genuinely happy and optimistic about where i was heading. Well that morning I was up to Santa Clarita sheriffs banging. I tell my son not to panic only to go outside and myself begin to panic. I try explaining to the cop that I'm leaving an abusive relationship and although the vehicle is in my bf name I paid for it and could prove i had. Also i had the title not signed of course. Ultimately I ended up in handcuffs cuz he put a lojac on the car. I started freaking out and pleading with them not to take me to jail. I tell him how I grew up in grouphomes and swore my son would never know the same. Well he deems its a civil matter but explains that cuz the lojac he has to take the vehicle. Tells me to go to dmv and have the title transferred in due diligence then go back to sheriffs and obtain a release for the vehicle. Once he leave i and relieved only for a moment. A couple staying in the next room offer to help me. I know that being its Sat and only AAA dmv is open and nothing is tomorrow I'm in a crunch for time and i have no money. Next AAA dmv does not process in due diligence claims and tells me i have to wait till Mon. I cant I have no money to stay in the room no money for a bus ticket all I have is my belongings and a lexus with a full tank in a tow yard. Feeling defeated i return to the car and tell this lady. Who's responds who's to say he didn't sign it? I'll sign it. Without thinking I agree she signs and i return back inside to complete the title transfer. Then go to sheriffs to obtain release. While waiting an officer enter the lobby and ask me to step outside with him. I agree once outside he asked me who mr. Is and I told him my boyfriend he says oh where does he reside xxxx,California his answer is oh how far is that from here I say I don't know like five six hours oh he looks at the title and says so did he come down here today & this mind you it's 2 in the afternoon I'm not stupid I know where he's getting on and I knew I had a choice to make I can throw this lady under the bus for trying to help me or I can take responsibility for my which is what I did I said no he said who signed it I said I did since I put your hands behind your back I said please just not in front of my son he said where is your son I said he's right there and not even a minute later another officers snatching my son out of the car and the cop in front of me tells me that I'm going to jail and my son's going to CPS because I'm a thief.
******** eventually I'd like to post the whole journey that led up to the termination of my parental rights but this is more than I can take right now all I ask that before you make judgment just remember that nobody knows what they would do in a situation until they're in it I never thought I'd be here and now I have to figure out how to pretend I was never a mom in almost two years since I've seen my son and people wonder why I get high I don't want to feel it hurts too much especially cuz I tried so hard and was let down by everybody. If you continue to follow this journey you continue to follow this journey I guarantee you by the end of that you you continue to follow this journey I guarantee you by the end of that you will feel like you should have paid 3999 for a pay-per-view special anyway thank you for reading******