Following a year and a half relapse after 10 years of being sober, I didn’t think I could get and stay sober again, much less be happy, joyous, and free sober. I didn’t want to live anymore except for my daughter. The last couple to few years of my 10 year stretch I was miserable mostly due to not being active in any program of recovery and also in part due to some life circumstances and how I handled those circumstances or didn’t deal with those circumstances, despite attending a lot of different types of therapy regularly and taking anti-depressants. One of my biggest takeaways this time is that my circumstances can have very little to do with my happiness, joy, freedom, and usefulness to others if I am doing the work day in and day out and relying on a power greater than myself. I created a huge mess starting a couple years prior to my relapse and during my relapse both with personal relationships and financially ending in a divorce and over $500k in debt and several lawsuits. It was quite a fall from where I had been with personal relationships and financially several years into my sobriety when I had been and was putting recovery first. I felt on top of the world and slowly and subtly got away from recovery and took over managing and controlling my life. Today I have great relationships again with family and friends, including a good relationship with my ex-wife, and I have been able to clean up much of my mess, which I can only attribute to a power greater than myself in such a short amount of time. Today to stay sober physically and emotionally I start my days with 30-45 minutes of prayer and meditation, I attend a meeting nearly everyday for fellowship and to be of service, I pray throughout the day, I find little ways to be of service throughout the day, I’ve made approaches or amends on all amends I’m aware of except one, I carry the message weekly to treatment facilities, and I continue to take inventory throughout the day and before I go to bed. I’m regularly honest with others about where I’m at and what I’ve been doing. I have ceased fighting anything or anyone. I rarely think about using or drinking, and when I do it is fleeting with no real power behind it. Today I am happier and more free than I can remember being. I
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Congratulations on 9 months, and thanks for sharing.