I think before I can fill the void with something other than alcohol I have to figure out what has caused the void. Where did it come from? What is it? Why is it there? All questions only I can answer but I don’t even know where to begin… guess it’s time to turn to that higher power.
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It is overwhelming to me to look at it so broadly. I choose to heal the void inch by inch. Day by day. What caused it, if it were able to be isolated, is long ago and impossible to undo.
I’m a 12 step person. For me steps 10-12 are for my daily health.
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Absolutely Joel! My kids are what keeps me filled and keeps me moving forward. Platforms like this and AA have been amazing tho because to be honest I’ve never known anyone who could relate and knew what I was going through and it’s amazing meeting so many inspiring people that have come from where we are and are now where we want to be. It gives me faith for sure!
It is overwhelming but for me… I’m so lost and confused and I feel like I need to take a step back and understand how I got here in order for me to truly begin to heal…
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Everything we do is based on a reward basis. Just like we train dogs using treats. We need to identify what that reward is we are getting through alcohol.. is it numbing something, it's creating new avenues for something or is it short term escape from reality. For me, it's a social thing and frat boy mentality
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What really helped me to sort out and get answers to all of my why this why that, was working through those steps in order, putting that pen to paper filled in all the missing blanks of who, what and why I was, and when that happened I could feel the chain of self being removed.
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Thank you for this! I do need to get into the big book and I need to find a sponsor!
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The program did not just save my life but it gave me a life. I was so sick and tired of being sick and tired and my way just was not working anymore, so I was willing to take direction and live the program and that was 29 years ago and I’m still here
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Amazing Rosalind! Congratulations on 29 years! You are an inspiration. I’d love to have you as a friend on here and chat sometime 
Absolutely, I’m not sure how you make friend requests
Exactly! For me I think it’s the feeling when the buzz first sets in, when all the anxiety melts away, sitting on a patio on a warm summer night with the breeze softly flowing by, the warmness of the day drifting away… good tunes in the background, everything seems funnier and more interesting, but that’s the thing, that feeling is great, but I never stop there, I keep going and going until i black out and do/say something stupid, ruin a friendship, wake up hellaciously hungover, embarrassed, severely depressed and regretful. Sometimes it’s worse than others, but I never feel proud of who I am the next day and I can’t live that way anymore. Somehow I have to learn how to live life all over again and find joy in the simplicity of life.
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The steps are the solution!!!
You're thinking too much. LOL
Don't complicate things. Go to meetings, get a sponsor, take the steps. Your head will clear up just fine and the answers will come.