Fentanyl. Is. Killer. Damn.. I cant seem to shake it. Lost everything and have next to no drive to fix it. I want what I had but don't want to work for it. It's a harsh reality to face that I've chosen drugs over my baby girl. Idk if I will ever forgive myself n if I don't, how do I live with the guilt..
You need to work on getting together for your daughter. You love her. The guilt won't go away as long as you love her.
Think about her life without you in it. Think about her low self-worth because her mom chose drugs over her.
The best thing you can do for your daughter is to get clean and be the mom she needs.
Sorry if this so I nds jars, but you are absolutely right fentanyl is a killer. You keep taking it and it will kill you. You want to live, or die is the real question. If you don't get clean you leave your child without you at best. At worst they are the one who finds you. There is a rapper who had similar experience. His song about it is gut wrenching.
“Next to no drive” means there is still some motivation there. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be on a sober app and you wouldn’t be even mentioning it. Lean into that! You’re addicted, that’s not choosing drugs over your baby because when you’re addicted you don’t have any choice. Please look into getting into a treatment center or detox so you can get some sober time under your belt and get it out of your system! Then YOU will be making the choices, not the drug