I've heard this term at AA and never thought it pertains to me and my sobriety. My wife and I have been separated for a few months and she says things haven't changed with my patterns and sent me a podcast she has been listening to about the topic. Anyone have any insights that might help me move past this? I am all about owning my alcoholism and still see problems in our relationship that have nothing to do with my drinking... not sure what to do.
Maybe it was/is not your drinking but your thinking?
I have been there. I got in to therapy. It was good she challenged my principles and core beliefs providing me with good contradictory evidence my world view was not really based in reality. I had always thought there was nothing wrong with me, everybody else was screwed up. Nope it was me. Tough day coming to that conclusion.
Hmm maybe I have a shitty therapist 
It’s an AA term that isn’t exactly helpful to a lot of people because of confusion about what it means. If refers to someone that isn’t drinking but who still has unresolved psychological problems that fuel additive behaviors. For example, someone could have anger issues that aren’t resolved and could lead to a return to drinking for emotional relief.
However, it was a very valuable learning experience on many levels over time. If we want more desirable outcomes with people we need to look inward and make adjustments. Hope this help. Have a great day.
It does... I guess I have some research to do this weekend. Thanks
It's tough cause our marital problems are a tangled web of my drinking and issues on her side. Makes it tough to sort out what is mine to own and when I should stick up for myself
It could be your therapist, they work for you. If they are not meeting needs. Tell'em duces I'm out! And get a new therapist. Two thumbs up on the research gig. Stimulate your mind. Good stuff!
with some. of her remarks. I had to endure some tough shots for my behavior. It wasn't until people saw a change my attitudes an behaviors were I gain some credibility back.
Not sure what happened to the top part of that last entry.
I had said with all due respect you wife may felt a bit hurt and 
you down a bit. Women are women. And men can be simpletons. You know.
Yeah I can see that. We both suck at communicating
Yep. You sure are on point with that. Learning good communication skill is crucial. Makes every thing so much easier.