Does anyone else get very irritable when your significant other weighs in sometimes on future plans and always mentions how you’re not going to drink anymore. I know she wants the best for me but it almost makes me resent her when I feel like she takes over the steering wheel for me. I told her how I felt last night and she felt like the victim and stopped talking to me.
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Maybe she should try Alanon.
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Yeah I mean I wasn’t exactly a great person when I got drunk. So I understand that she’s probably very happy and almost giddy about me getting sober. But it just rubs me the wrong way. I don’t want her to be calling the shots with this. I need to do this for me. I’m sure a lot of people on here are like me and have a tough time being told what I can and cannot do.
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Seriously, I would recommend Alanon or couples counseling.
My fiancé walked out on our family over my drinking. It could definitely be worse… I don’t like being told what to do or that I “cant” drink. So I know how you feel there. Maybe explain to her yes you can drink, but you are choosing not to. This is your choice.
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You can't do that
LOL
Thank you for understanding and putting it into words. I feel this extreme wall of pressure when she says those words or just talks about not drinking at future big events like our wedding. It’s too much sometimes. I’m literally just going one day at a time.
Yes I definitely have that “don’t tell me what I can and can’t do” complex. It infuriates me and I feel like a caged animal sometimes.
Do you have a sponsor? Have u started working the steps? Trust me it helps! I’m having a very emotional time working step 4 now but it feels good getting stuff on paper.
I feel like you both moving forward with the commitment of you being sober should let go of the mistakes in the past. As well, bringing up far future sobriety, overshadows the currents daily struggles and makes it more daunting. I’m sure she didn’t intend to make you feel like that. you could try to help her focus on the right now, like how it seems you are.
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100% know exactly how you feel. I cannot stand being told what to do even if it’s for my own benefit. In rehab they talked a lot about setting healthy boundaries, maybe this is one of those situations maybe not. Hope it works out brother
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I really appreciate all the feedback. Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy at times.
Same!! I told my husband i am an adult and if I choose to drink that is on me, for now I like keeping myself sober. For days he’s been saying how I can’t drink etc. I was so angry with him, but then I did some thinking in my own head, and if I want to I can pick up a bottle I just choose not to.