So I am facing the reality of divorce while being fairly new in recovery. Admittedly the partial reason for this situation was my continued drinking when I first tried to get sober this year. Another broken promise to say the least, it is a long story. I find myself now being sober having to constantly avoid the trappings of replaying scenarios in my head that could have prevented this. What are somethings you guys have done to help cope with this type of situation?
I am literally going through same thing. Exactly.
For me, I had to leave my wife and check into sober living to be surrounded by supportive but accountable environment. It has been difficult not to think about it or talk about it. I know how you feel.
Everyone keeps advising me to think of myself and get healthy. My mind is trained to believe it is my job to take care of my wife but I cause her and myself harm if I cannot recover from my mental and medical issues first.
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Hi, Zachary. I have not been in your shoes. Have you considered marital counseling? If you don't have the resources to pay maybe you can reach out to someone you know, i.e. pastor, rabbi, etc., who may be able to counsel you for free.
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Hey guys: I hane never been married, though I want to now that I'm clean and sober for 3 years (!!). There's a passage in the NA Basic Text that says one may want to put off making any major decisions in the first year of recovery; it does not specify what “a major decision” is though. Personally speaking, I know that I would be in a much better frame of mind a year into recovery and better equipped to make a major decision/change. Thanks for posting here. By sharing our lives, thoughts, ups and downs with each other we can make better choices.
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I have and I do think some sort of marital or family counseling is needed in the future at least for the sake of being able to be effective co- parents. At the moment though I don’t believe my wife is going to be as receptive to the idea as I am.
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I feel ya bro. I still have hope that we can eventually reconcile as I feel 9 years together married for 4 is a long time to just throw away but I have to keep reminding myself that there is most likely a lot of pain there for her and I can’t change how she feels only how I feel. Still though it is tough on me.
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Well kinda same situation. I go too AA. Its a great program. Staying busy. Dont think of the past. Think about today