Day 4 … the days seem to go by slow when your counting, I’m considering not keeping count anymore and just being in the present without a #. The desire to drink is subsiding yet still there. Finally starting to feel better physically and mentally, but sleep has been a struggle… staying asleep I should say. Lots of restlessness but I also think because it’s so hot here now and no matter how many fans and having the AC I’m still hot. I would love to move from this desert valley but doesn’t seem to be our future. Otherwise, I found, what seems to be an appropriate group coaching agency for me which is just women, Christian based, and helps to target low self worth, traumas, and no need to rely on others but be comfortable with being on our own and independent. I did the first assessment which was just 15 minutes. I’m scheduled tomorrow for an hour which will go deeper into my issues and discussion about fist of services which makes me anxious. They want my spouse to be involved during this due to the financial aspects. I did tell him, he told just do it, but I told him he needs to be there for support and understand what’s going on so if he has any concerns. He agreed, but I feel like he just doesn’t want any part in my recovery. And that’s why I need outside support because I don’t feel friends or family are equipped or need to know what’s going on tbh. Maybe in the future as I grow (if this program works and able to participate). Just praying for the best outcome and that this is God leading me to right resources.
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