Hello. Has anyone on here experienced issues dating sober? When I meet someone new and then tell them I no longer drink. I sense a change in the tone of the conversation. Then most likely I never hear from them again. This is getting frustrating to say the least. I’m almost 7 years sober btw.
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I know we tend to see it as a bad thing- but it's a benefit to our sobriety. Avoid people, places, and things that can be a trigger. We don't want to be in a relationship where we either: a) we hang out with our significant other and s/he drinks or b) constantly argue with our significant other because we're always debating no drinks when together though s/he drinks.
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I experience it sober ,drunk doesnt matter
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I never had a problem with alcohol and I don't drink. Anytime I was offered a drink and at a cookout or asked to go out and refused a drink it was a serious insult to others. Drove me crazy. All who were insulted were addicts in denial or had some other major issue with self-esteem. Don't let others decisions dictate how you feel or what you will not put in your body. I've seen people just give in to a drink because of this unhealthy pressure. Anyone who judges you for declining an alcoholic beverage should evaluate self. I will say just order a soda or water. No conversation about sobriety is needed in the beginning stages. If you get serious with someone then its time for past history that may effect them in the future. If your in the sex only situation is important to acknowledge that in the beginning but sobriety is not a necessary conversation. I find most sober people want connections but feel the need to go off on a sober diarrhea rant on the first date. This will definitely scare those who are sober, addicts, and non-addicts alike. Keep it light in the beginning. Let them get to know you and then introduce them to your sobriety when you feel safe about disclosing such personal information. Sobriety is something that all don't need to know up front. Some people you date aren't even worth the tab you pay never mind such sensitive and private information. I wouldn't feel comfortable with that information in anyone's hands. Not out of not accepting I'm an addict but other factors. Especially today because vindictive people post anything online to try and embarrass others. Nothing like a angry person you didn't like having sensitive information. Keep it casual, keep it light, you will eventually find Mrs. Right.
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Sober dating is hard man.. i find it hard to meet women outside of bars and when I do meet women outside of bars the first date is tough because they always want to “go out for a drink to get to know each other”. My DOC wasn’t alcohol and I feel like I’m in a place in my recovery where I can sit there with a coke and let them have an alcoholic beverage and talk, but it really is tough getting past that hurdle…
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Dating in general anymore sucks!
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Ain't that the truth.
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Let’s hope 2021 has better things in store for us hahaha
One could hope.
I cant even get a women to talk to me drunk or sober in real life Most of them have these concrete walls up. Then if you gp to even say hi or joke someone comes out of the woodworks and says “quit creeping on her” it never fails for me!!!! Lmao i give up nd give my love life to gods hands im done trying
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If I tell someone I’m sober and they don’t say “congratulations, that’s awesome. Good for you!!” I’m not asking them out.
the girl I’m dating now is an addict in recovery 5 years. She can honestly have 1 drink and then nothing. She’s not an alcoholic but she very rarely drinks anyway, but she fully understands addiction and recovery. It works for us.
It sucks to get ghosted over and over, but if they were going to ghost me because I don't use drugs or drink, it wasn't gonna work anyway
I'm not ready to start dating again yet. My health and sobriety are and need to be foremost in my thoughts. I had emergency liver and kidney transplants in October. But I have wondered how I just slide that into the conversation… ,"oh and if this works out, don't mind the giant, beautiful T across my stomach…" ??? I don't know, but it'll be weird and if they can't accept that then it wouldn't work anyways because they wouldn't understand there is a long story leading up to it and every day since is a blessing.
Second date talk right 
Online dating is a bitch, especially the lengths some go with the lies. But I am still hopeful. I have the intuition and tools to decide who is right for me and if I should continue talking to them or move on. I've had to do alot of moving on, bc drug users and regular drinkers are a threat to my sobriety. I put my sobriety first and ask God for guidance. My answer is always revealed.
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Yes I have had experience. I would suggest that you be sure you are strong in your recover. IME anything you put in front of your sobriety Will be the first thing you lose if you relapse. Money and relationships account for the biggest 2 reasons people relapse. Be on the lookout for red flags and keep your sobriety strong. It also helps to have some time under your belt and if your partner is in recovery be sure they do as well and you have an understanding that staying sober comes first. This is my best advice.
Idk about you but I was using so long with either the same girl or by myself that I forgot how to make small talk or any kind of talk so take your time brother I understand. Idk your spiritual or religious beliefs but I'm hoping God will put the right person there at the right time. And unles you're trying to get at girls early in sobriety like a couple weeks or months then other people need to mind their business
your higher power will put that right women in your life cuz. I trust hell do it for me, and for now I’m focusing on learning to love myself. Stay tough and if you ever need to chat HMU. NJ represent