Attention: for anyone who feels the same i would like to announce that I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IM DOING and thats probably ok... maybe....
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Baby steps.
What you are going through is normal- we were all lost when we become sober. I went to meetings right away and not only found my sponsor, but I have made a ton of new friends that are there for me and vice versa. All we can do is one day at a time; today is the only day that matters.