I made it two days alcohol free. I havent done that for about four years.
I drank today.
I dont know how to approach AA or how to get a sponsor.
I am terrified. I dont think I am ready; even though I have been ready for years.
I just cry, while simultaneously smiling, or I throw air punches in frustration.
You've got a whole community here who have felt the same way you do. While it may seem small, you didn't drink for two days, and that is actually a huge thing to be proud of! One option to help explore recovery paths is to speak with an addiction counselor or therapist. A support group like AA will likely be part of that conversation but there are other support options that may also be a good fit.
Please take care, know you're not alone, and hope you will be kind to yourself as you find the recovery path that helps you be safe and healthy.
Celebrate the small battles with loved ones! 2 days is an accomplishment to share with others! One day at a time and continue to say “I won’t drink today, Maybe tomorrow, But NOT today!”