After three weeks sober I relapsed and got a DUI. I messed up my probation that I was going to be released from early. My daughter is with my mom and I miss her so bad and my family. I'm here all alone. I know I need medication and mental health resources if I'm going to stay sober. I can't seem to do this on my own. For almost five years its been drinking every day except for when I get sober for a few months. I always justify a drink because of stress or my bipolar makes me impulsive or my so called "friends" invite me to drink and I can say no but sometimes the temptation is too much. I always think I can have just 1 and then I end up drinking daily again. I can't seem to find a doctor without insurance in my area so I can get a new psych evaluation. I want to be honest with myself and my family. I'm tired of the shame and the bad choices I make when I drink. It's ruining my life and I'm struggling so hard even though I really do want to be sober. I just feel hopeless.
You aren’t hopeless, love.
No one is ever too far gone. Did you mess up? Sure. Are you owning it? Absolutely. Now that you know that you know that you can’t drink—not even one, it’s time to do the work.
And if your friends can’t accept the fact that you can’t drink, and don’t stop offering, then change your circle, honey. It is easy to say someone is a friend when everyone is partying... it’s another thing when you are dealing with the consequences of alcoholism/alcohol abuse and no one is around.
Thank you I need as much support as I can get right now I'm really having a hard time
When I’m spiraling and feeling upset I have been going straight to a live meditation on the Insight Timer app. They’re almost always one (or 10) going on with a loving and supportive community. You can put something in the chat and the teacher will touch on it and others will throw support your way. This is how I learned to really love myself. It all seems to start there!
There are many topics, including recovery and anxiety and even tarot card reading and Yoga. It’s amazing!
Maybe a visit to treatment. There they can provide you with some resources you need, it is a safe space, you can learn about the toxic relationship you have with alcohol, learn coping skills, etc. Call your local access, they can help. Whatever county you live in has a web page with the resources you need.
So sorry sweetheart, I also relapsed and locked myself in the house because of fear, and felt so bad this morning. Don’t know if it will help but your misfortune jumped as a huge warning for me, and sure that others feel the same. In the end you will always regret it but you will find strength and a sharper self if you ride it to build you to who you really are.
Sounds like you may need new friends. You can't have your daughter, provide the proper care, drive a car, hold down a job if your drunk. Getting and staying sober will allow you to do that. Perhaps a good inpatient dual-diagnousis program.
Ain't that the truth. Things tend to go silent when stuff gets real.
I lost my family once many years ago
My wife threw me out and moved
Today is different with sobriety
I have my family back together for twenty years now
I’m not perfect and have relapsed a few times
Things are going smoothly now and in reality it is possible to rebuild your life if you truly work at it
God Bless you
Although it sounds like an oversimplification, I recommend going to AA or NA. Through going to meetings, working with a sponsor and abstaining from drugs and alcohol, you will help yourself get better until you can get the additional mental health that you may need. When I put down the substance(s) I became treatable (I have MDD). Good luck and *** bless.
There are wonderful programs through Federally Qualified Health Centers. Medication management, therapy, have you thought of naltrexone?