A little over a month sober and recovering from several days of deep introspective depression. Not entirely out of it but feeling much better today than I have in the past few. I had read, during this time, that a wave of emotions a month or so in isn't uncommon. I'm hoping some others here may have some shared experience here and perhaps could share how they weathered the storm. For me, the depression has consisted of reliving a lot of moments from my adult life and questioning those decisions, the harm they may have caused, and why I ever considered those decisions to be ok or tolerable. It's been a heavy "come to jesus" moment for me. One that I think was very necessary, but also extremely difficult to handle. Part of my sobriety is coming to terms with who I have been and who I want to/should be; so, I welcome the introspection, even if I don't wish to realize just how lousy a person I was at certain points of my life. None the less, I think the mixture of introspection, depression, quarantine, and a lack of my go to "Dull the pain" elixir (alcohol) has made this journey very overwhelming. If you have recommendations, or simply shared experience (so I know I'm not alone), I would greatly appreciate it.
You’re definitely not alone. And I can attest, at least from my own experience, that the wave of emotions (including pretty heavy periods of depression) are very common at the beginning of recovery. For me, what was really helpful was seeking mental health treatment so a professional could help me figure out what were symptoms of my stopping drinking vs. what might be a genetic or chemical imbalance. That, paired with peer support (AA meetings) which allowed me to reach out to a sober friend whenever I was feeling down, was really helpful
You are not alone.
Depression is so common, unfortunately.
I know your post talked about your past. That is what it is--your past. If you look at your past let it because you are learning from it. Don't allow it to keep you down.
Be the amazing person you strive to be.
How are you feeling Daniel?