90 days this coming saturday.... Again. But I have a good feeling about my sobriety this time. Everytime I leave that crap behind it makes it harder to go back.
2 Likes
Congrats Rob! 
Well, we used to do whatever was required to make the substance use occur. So right there proves we have to drive to succeed. The second most important thing is that it cant be surrounded by conditions, or else it will never happen. Cant say "ill go to AA meetings, but im not doing 12 steps". And im not an AA advocate, trust me, i dont even use AA. But whatever it is, it has to be decided that "im gonna do recovery, often enough to keep it at the forefront of my mind" and have to be willing to do whatever is required to stay sober. That includes stopping whatever is necessary. If its people you cant eliminate then love them from a distance. If its places, there is no excuse, find a new job, go without social events, or whatever until you find new ones conducive to recovery. Quit being a follower. Look yourself in the mirror, as dumb as it sounds and tell yourself to quit being a chump and get it done. Thats what I did. I made myself a promise. I deserve better. I quit wallowing in my grief and grew up. It took about 5 minutes to accept that noone makes us do anything. Noone makes us mad. Noone drives us to do drugs. Noone makes us punch them in the face. I choose everything i do. Choose to be happy. Choose to NOT use. And choose that whoever and whatever needs to appreciate that about you, or theyre not welcome in your life unless its from a distance and only when they want it to. Im not sober sometimes. I dont just follow rules when someone is watching. If the behavior changes, the drugs go away on their own. Its time being the key. Relax a little bit. When urges come along, thats fine. Were human beings. Not human doings. Just Be. Allow yourself the piece of mind that, yeah im an addict that relapses frequently, of course, thats what I do. If you dont like it, stop doing it. Easier said than done trust me. Start putting in the work. You cant sit around wondering why nothing is changing, if the only thing done about it is thinking about what you dont want to be doing and what you wish you were doing. Action must be taken. The world will lie to you and say that you can manifest your own reality by thinking about it really hard. When scientific fact based reality says that your energy goes into what you care about manifests your reality. All those things you meditate on are great, but if you dont get up from meditation and focus your care on doing the footwork to get those things. Then youll be stuck in the loop that evil wants you stuck in. Believing that thinking about it is enough. Im sorry if thats a long and harsh reality. But the fact remains that it is the truth. I care enough about you that I will only deliver the truth when asked, if it saves your life and you hate me forever then thats good enough for me. Youve already started by asking how did I do it? Now apply what ive suggested. Thats how I did it. And stop looking to old things for new solutions. Lots of love. Im available 24/7/365. Thats a promise. Ill even give out my personal phone number via p.m. if someone needs it. Your life is important to me.