First post. 16 months sober but only the last 3.5 single. And it kinda changes things a bit. When you have that person to talk to about anything, it’s huuuuge! When you don’t, days get a little darker a little quicker. I got sober without meetings and additional help. It wasn’t easy at all, but I did it. I say that because I’d just prefer not to? I’ve dabbled in the dating world and, holy crap, that’s scary. I’ve hit it off with a couple of potential females but then something happens... can’t explain it. I get put it the bro-zone. I’ve gotten better with it over the last month and kind of embraced it. Almost putting dating on hold entirely. Sporting a mustache for the first time ta-boot. Not really 100% sure what to ask for here? I have some friends but they’re all pretty much married or have placed me in the bro-zone. Is there anybody else going through anything like this? My hobbies and home life are kinda built for a loner (except the 2 kiddos of course). Which is good but when a former sneak drinker that loved to get hammered alone gets down in the dumps, it’s a bit of a concern. I guess I’m just looking for a friend or some friends. I have “this person” I can talk to about “this” and “that person” I can talk to about “that”. But nobody I can consistently bother the crap out of without getting the feeling I’m annoying them. Lol. Sounds a little silly I guess but if any of you guys or girls are going through something like this, maybe send me a message? I can be a little awkward at first but if we hit it off early, I’m sure we could create a pretty cool relationship. And to all you guys/girls just out of the gate, you can fucking do it!!! I’d love to chat with you too. I love telling my story and sharing my methods so if this post got your attention, reach out.
I'm am humbled by the powerful, unbridled masculinity of your new mustache. It's very presence silently commands respect...but not in a harsh or 'totalitarian' way. I need help with humility (particularly, erradicating the curse of egocentrism, etc.), so thank you, and your crumb duster, for that. In regard to your some of your introductory comments, I can tell you that I empathize with some of what you wrote. Divorced (not my idea) after 12-ish years, and, in huge ways, losing almost everything that was most meaningful in my life, in short succession was devastating. My family (wife, 1 beloved daughter, 2 beloved sons, 1 beloved, sweet and loyal dog, a stable home, a job with workplace proximity associates who where friends, my other friends, my home congregation, and I could keep going...)...all of it was chopped into pieces, set on fire, and thrown out into rush hour traffic. I had about 5 years of sobriety, at the time. It still feels weird to sleep alone. And not having that parter person, in life, just feels unnatural. And sucky. I've been single, by choice, and circumstance, for 2 years now. Ok, there was an unexpected and short-lived, long distance relationship that was never even referred to as anything more than "something" that lasted for a few weeks, about 1,½ years ago. I new it would be selfish, and improper to allow it to continue, and she, at least, claimed to agree, despite the remaining mutual attraction. But that was all. So, basically, 2 years. Many reasons. One of them is, again, that I believe it would be selfish, and wrong of me, to allow someone else to be hurt by my struggles/life situation. I'm not really 'okay' and my life is still, mostly, a pile of broken glass.
You mentioned not having a friend you can "bother the crap out of, without them getting annoyed." I definitely relate to that, as well. The people in my life who have been that close, have either moved far away, married and moved far away, relapsed/began cheating/became delusional/SCARY manipulative/destroyer of all good things (heart-breakingly sad, that one—despite destroying and forever traumatizing EVERYONE in my former familial unit), or, I'm now 200 miles away from, and have mostly lost meaningful contact with. A doc suggested, early on, finding somewhere to get some sleep, eat some real food, and decompress, away from all of the stress, for a little while, if possible, bc I was deteriorating fairly quickly, from endless stress, grief, sleep-deprivation, etc. and the only place I could think of, to achieve that, was the place I'd internally sworn to myself I'd never return to...unless for brief visits, and for positive reasons. That's correct. The progenitors' home.
And then COVID-19 happened.
Proverbial nail in the coffin... *No disrespect for victims or relatives of victims of the illness intended.
Anyway, "hey."
I feel that I can totally relate to some of what you wrote, despite differing circumstances, and wanted to tell you that you aren't alone in this...
*preemptively apologizing for spelling and grammatical errors... just... embarrassing 
Well, friend, let’s figure this shit out!
Hi, Matt.
Thanks for sharing with us. I'm sorry you got out a relationship. I know how heartbreaking it can be. Please know you have a friend in me. I'm here for you. Feel free to send me a message anytime.
Be the amazing dad your kids need. Work on being the best man you know how. Things will fall into place.
No wife, happy life
Yasssss!!!! You are not alone!!!! Thank you for sharing!!!! We will all heal together!!!