152 Days today & I feel like the weight of the world is on me as I’m trying to figure out my purpose & life ahead. 
Hi, friend.
First, congrats on 152 days. That's no small feat. Be proud.
You've had quite a few emotional, physical, and psychological changes in the last few months. Your emotions are valid.
In the meantime take a day or two of self-care. Relax. Do something you enjoy.
After a day or so come back and come up with a game plan.
Everyone's called to be of service. How will you give back? You'll give others and yourself gratification.
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I definitely understand that feeling. Keep seeking and searching. Do the things you don’t want to do but know they’ll be good for you and you’ll feel good afterward. Challenge your thoughts and beliefs. Those are the things that have helped and worked for me. Trying to see hard times and being disturbed or uncomfortable as opportunities for growth. Just like working out, we don’t get stronger or more fit unless it’s hard and we challenge ourselves and keep at it in a healthy way
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152 can turn into 153. Per usual Amanda nailed it. 152 has likely been a lot of work. You deserve some self care. Be kind to yourself. Then back to the grind as David describes. We can do this stuff. 
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P.S. change your screen name, pretty sure a "loser" does not have the capacity to hit 152 soon to be 153. What is your name?