133 days down the drain. I went almost 4 months

Recovery
#1

133 days down the drain. I went almost 4 months sober. White knuckled it the whole time. Found out I lost my last client last week and I’m basically without a job. My company is gone. The last 8 years of work flushed down the drain. I said fuck it. I’m going to buy a Breathalyzer and see just how much I drink when I go down the dark path. I hit .14 tonight. Somehow I can still type. But I regret picking them up. I’m heading back to AA tomorrow. It’s going to suck trying to keep this sobriety but I’ll do it one day at a time.

I think I realize I have been an island. And I need support and a community. I think my higher power may just be a group of people willing to accept me for my faults.

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#2

I understand how u feel. As addicts Weber ourselves up when we relapse. I commend your 4 months, I wish I could say that but I just attended my first in person meeting last night. I need to keep my groups and accept my mistakes and move thru day one hour at a time. We support each other here.