Welcome Lisa. Kaiser and AA has helped me but it wasn’t until I reached rock bottom could I then turn to a power greater then myself.
I wish you and your family peace.
Keep learning about addiction.
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Be gentle. Communicate. She has inherited our disease. She is a wonderful person. I wish her the best!!!
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Wish my mom was open to taking part in my recovery. Your a good momma she'll get through it. She has you.
Thanks so much. Your kind words make me feel better. I'm sorry your mom isn't there for you. I hope you find the inner strength to keep successful in your recovery.
Thank you! I'm far from looking for empathy and sympathy but your own journey gives me motivation to stay on the right track for mine. Like alright one more week or so she'll say hey I see you. And also reminds me of the importance of community strength. Sending a bunch of good vibes to you n yours to pull together to overcome not adapt
Well, you're right...she called today, so that's a step in the right direction. Sounds like you're doing the right stuff too...joining a gym is so smart. I really like meditation. I actually found really helpful stuff on tick tok too. Anyway, you got this!
Hey Lisa! Just thinking of you and wondering how you are doing 
Thanks so much for reaching out Elizabeth. It's been a rough few days. My daughter is blaming me for her issues and I need to detach a bit. I didn't talk to her yesterday, and decided to let her have space today...and she called me to tell me she isn't drinking, but doesn't want to talk about it. Not sure what to say as I feel everything I say is the wrong thing to say. I've found there are so many people dealing with this, and much more. Really interesting coping ideas from many...which helps. How are you?
Hi Lisa,
Your daughter is going to blame you. She’s going to blame god. She’s going to live in a world of self pity and victimhood.
12 steps saved my life. I was life your daughter. My dad was like you. He begged me to get help. He lectured and pushed and nudged and played nice and got angry and saved my ass and loaned me money and bailed me out of jail and just about everything else he could think of.
And eventually I went. I went to my first meeting to shut him up and prove him wrong. And in short order I went from being the only person on the planet who knew what I was feeling, to being just one of the millions of people who took that leap of faith.
I needed to try everything else first. I needed to definitively prove to myself that I could not do it alone. I could not save myself. I needed help. 12 steps to freedom but your daughter has to take that first step. She has to admit to herself that her life has become unmanageable and that she is powerless over alcohol. Or drugs. Or sex. Or eating. Or whatever it is that we are using to escape the pain and fear of our lives.
There are a lot of different programs. 12 step is the most common. It has the most success stories, but that doesn’t make it the best. The best program is whatever works to keep a person sober.
I strongly recommend Al Anon for you. Because the emotional devastation you’re experiencing can bring you down too. And you need the tools to keep yourself safe. I’m 415ish days sober. I’m now the one begging my dad to go to al anon. Because he needs a spiritual experience like I had to free himself from the bullshit that I put him through. But he won’t go. Don’t be like my dad. Go.
Thanks so much Craig. I'm so glad you are in recovery, and sharing your experiences with people like me is such great karma. I will go to Al Anon. I'm finding so many kind hearted people online...it really helps. Thank you. 
Oh, I’m sorry to hear you’ve had a rough few days. I am glad you are detaching from the blame. I think it’s possible to do that and still offer love and support (speaking from observation and my experience of others who have done that for me), but it can’t be easy, on any level.
I blamed a lot of people for my drinking/use too. I also went through periods of sobriety where I didn’t want to talk about it because talking about it felt like a way of surrendering personal agency when I was feeling really raw. Now, surrendering that agency really helps, but man, it took me a long time to get there. Hang in there. You are brave, and strong, and you got this.
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Thanks Jessica. I love her unconditionally, just want her to be well.
I got my mom into the SMART Recovery friends & family group and it has completely transformed our relationship. She has so much more compassion and empathy now. I’m 44 and I’ve been “partying” for 25 years. Let me know if you want to commiserate, lol.
My tried both Al-Anon and a SMART Recovery friends & family group. She quit the Al-Anon one because she prefers the SMART Recovery group by far. Just my two cents. 